It’s a behavior that is quite common among ADHDers, yet I’ve never heard it discussed much. It’s so common I named it Hibernation.
When life becomes stressful, ADDers withdraw from the world and…hibernate. They retreat into their homes, don’t respond to emails, or do anything productive. Some people may do things that help them block out the world, such as watching back-to-back films, playing video games, or reading mindless novels. The time spent avoiding issues is unpleasant, as there is overwhelming fear, anxiety, and shame.
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ADHD hibernation does not depend on the weather, unlike animals that hibernate during winter. It can occur at any time. This is not the same as being an introvert or taking time to recharge yourself away from others.
This article is about Hibernation, caused by a stressful event that an ADHDer is unsure how to deal with. This is usually a result of a simple ADHD behavior, such as sleeping through the alarm clock or missing a necessary appointment. It may be a small event, but the embarrassment and shame are so intense that it is the only way out. The more people feel they have let down someone they love or respect, the more they will hibernate.
They emerge when they feel strong enough to do so (after a couple of days or weeks), or their life obligations force them to. They feel terrible about themselves and apologize to anyone they lost touch with. They apologize to everyone they were out of touch with and feel awful about themselves.
If Hibernation were a good life strategy, then I wouldn’t even be writing this. It is painful for everyone. The situation has not improved but instead gotten worse.
Some ADDers do hibernate, but here are a few suggestions if that is you.
Create a Damage Limitation Plan
Even if you want to stop hibernating, expecting it to disappear magically is unrealistic. Create a plan to limit the damage. You create this plan when you’re not in Hibernation. This plan includes actions that you can take to limit your time in Hibernation or stop you from going into it when you start feeling the effects.
Speak to Someone
Tell someone else what’s going on in your world. You could share with a friend, your ADHD Coach, or your therapist. It is essential to take this action, but you may not want to.
List of Actionable To-Dos
List the actions you will take to address your fears. Divide each activity into small steps to make it less overwhelming. Some of these actions could be done in the presence of a trusted person.
This will require you to face problems directly, which is the last thing you want to do. By meeting them head-on, they will shrink in size.
EFT, or Emotional Freedom Technique, is an excellent way to reduce anxiety. This technique is quick and highly effective. This video can be followed whenever you are feeling anxious. Go to Rescue Remedy
Rescue Remedy, a homeopathic remedy, is readily available at health food shops, pharmacies, and online. It gives you peace and calmness to help you cope with stressful situations.
Hypnosis
Hypnosis can help you reprogram your subconscious to take action on things that you feel resistance towards. You can download the audio files to your iPod and listen to them as often. My favorite website is:
These are excellent choices for Hibernation.
It would help if you Were Kind to Yourself.
During this time, pay extra attention to the way you speak to yourself. It would help if you were as kind and compassionate to yourself as possible. It would help if you never punished yourself for a bad situation.
These suggestions can help you either before or after your Hibernation. You can use them as often as necessary until you feel your usual self again.
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ADHD mechanisms
Doc, you have some great insights. Hibernation, for me, has lasted a lot longer than a few days or even fewer weeks. For me, it’s been months and years.
I’ve lacked the “forcing mechanisms” I needed to wake up from Hibernation for a long while. i.e., Financial pressure, pressure from family members, deadlines at work/clients, etc. Many people may look at me as ‘lucky,’ but for an adult with ADD, not having these pressures is a witch’s brew. Now that my kids are teenagers and don’t rely on me anymore as a “stay-at-home Dad,” I feel like I can get myself out of this slump.. I am also using an ADD Coach now.
Once again, thank you for the valuable information.
EXACTLY! You nailed the fact that ADDers are ‘great at emergencies.’ I was once in a restaurant and thought a woman was about to choke, but nobody did anything. I gave her the Heimlich. I don’t know if anyone helped, but it was very close. I was glad I could help her but felt terrible for the poor husband. What a way to emasculate. Yikes!
This is me. It’s true; I went through a phase of escape. I stayed on the couch for weeks, watching TV shows and playing silly games on my phone. I avoided life as much as possible because it was too hard to handle. Now, I’m just beginning to do what I should have done (which is ten times worse). Wow! I’m amazed at how accurate this is.
I sent an email to a friend apologizing that I hadn’t contacted them in over a month- I was hibernating! I can’t do anything else when I have to deal with the daily stress. I get overwhelmed. I find myself paralyzed by overwhelm. !
I hibernate a lot more in the summer months because I am expected to be outside enjoying the sun and fun, living life, and making the best possible summer for my kids. It’s just too much. !
Hibernation is not without its guilt. I do things around the home, so I don’t have that feeling of being a waste of time.
It’s nice to hear that I’m not alone using this defensive mechanism.
My husband has told me that I must leave the house this morning.
It made me feel very typical. I even laughed out loud at the article because I understood exactly what it was about in my life! I knew I was hyped because of stress, but I never associated it with ADHD symptoms. I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 18, but nothing was done. It finally explained both my academic world and my social life. I’ve researched, studied, and deep-dived into my brain in the last five years.
I look forward to learning more about you and your blog and finding others in my tribe who understand how I function/work. Self-journey to realize who I am and heal many fixed beliefs about how I show up.
I thought I was depressed and had no desire to socialize except for work-related events. My routine is work. I enjoy working with children but realize I can do more. This Hibernation is taking more of my life. It prevents me from socializing, even though I want to. I get so cold and freeze. I don’t apologize to my friends or make up an excuse for why I couldn’t. Hyper nation has prevented me from becoming the person I want to be. I’m smart enough to be successful, but my anxiety and fear of unorganized thoughts and the extra effort required to succeed are exhilarating. I believe that people also need to find the right job. What I love and choose as a profession is filled with movement, organization, communication, and paste business—early childhood teaching.
At almost 50, I still haven’t been able to reach my goals. For example, I have tried three times to pass the state exam or finish my master’s. Hibernate if you fail. I accomplished more than a complete plan three times with revisions to organize my brainstorming ideas. I am fortunate to have someone help me manage and make my projects successful. Even though it is best for my children, I must adhere to my daily schedule even more. Knowing what I know now, I would have changed my career. I’d still be working with children, but more one-on-one. Like development screenings.or classroom design. Reading, understanding, and communicating my ideas takes me much extra time. When my monthly plan and class act
